Family

Family

Monday, July 28, 2014

2 weeks of silence...and 2 weeks until school starts

Yes, I am still here!  Muddling through the crazy world of summer "vacation".

We have reached the point of summer where I begin to feel like I am going to not make it til the end without a break down, then I have guilt that I should be enjoying these days, but I miss my routine so much I want to just cry.

My 2 youngest have played together really well most days this summer.


Today, for some reason they are refusing to play together & Jadon is "SO BORED" and Kiahna is just piddling around.


Less structure equals less good mood for Kiahna.  This was after the dentist last week she didn't get to go eat at the fair when she wanted too.

Trying to actually do real work at home is a challenge.  I feel guilt for working rather than playing.  

Last week was full, we had the 4-H fair, and Swiss Days to attend.  This morning I took Jadon to football camp.  Made him go at least once to see if he liked it.  He is refusing to go back.  Not sure why.

Some Photos from the fair & Swiss Days:






Yesterday was my birthday.  We drove to visit James & Brookelyn at their apartment, 2 1/2 hours away.  Z chose not to join us.


From a wedding last weekend we all attended & James was in.


Birthday breakfast on the way.


My new daughter-in-law made me a cake!  She searched my pinterest board & chose something off of there she thought I would like!  She said I pin lots of Strawberry things! It was yummy!


We went out to dinner too!  I even didn't have to pay the bill!  Grown up kids ROCK!

We got all the wedding photos back!  We can view them online, I will have them on USB soon, and hope to share some, or maybe the photographer will blog & I'll share that!  


Lastly, my aunt Carol passed away this past weekend.  I will be heading to Indy to be with my family at her viewing and funeral.  She had cancer 17 years ago & it returned and she has passed on to her Heavenly home.  Hard to think about.

Taking deep breaths... J & K decided to play together since I started writing... thankful.

In His Grip,

Pam


Monday, July 14, 2014

Summer is over half over!

We are home from our week at the lake, and there is just a month until school starts.

So, after helping my sister pull of her first graduation, my own son's wedding & a week at the lake... my house is trashed & I am still tired!

My kids are sleeping so late.  Kiahna didn't get up until 10 am yesterday before church!


Our week at the lake actually ended up well, considering how it started out.  Z returned after working through Wednesday, and behaved himself, but kept his distance.

Prayerfully & gracefully trying to keep my focus off of his actions and on Jesus.  Need to or I will go crazy.


The week was relaxing, my brother-in-laws took the kids out boating every day, we had lots of Tom's donuts, the temperatures were comfortable, I read a couple of books, Kiahna got along really well for her.  (HUGE PRAISES HERE!!!!)





I finally heard from James mid-week.  Which was nice.  New job is going well, and he is applying for other jobs still.  I am pretty excited that we have  a wedding to attend this weekend & maybe the most exciting part to me is that we will get to see James & Brooke there.  

The three youngest at the lakes eating dinner one evening:


Brought back memories of when these three were babies at the lake.  


We decided that we needed to recreate that photo for their graduations this coming year...


These three are amazing.  

I feel like the parable of the lost sheep is being played out in our family.  Even with 99 sheep in the fold, when one is lost the shepherd goes out to find the one lost sheep.  We are so blessed.  But, when one is hurting and falling away, it makes us feel incomplete and in need of pulling them back in.  


Thank you for continuing to pray with me for Z.  And for the grace to have peace in the storms.  And trust God has this.

ANOTHER HUGE PRAISE:  

If you read earlier this year, I was pretty discouraged with the lack of wedding bookings I had for my photography.  It didn't make any sense to me.  Lots of inquiries and no bookings.  Well, things are making sense now.  We have had so many engagements at church and the weddings are all yet this year!  I have been booking weddings and could not be more happy to be working with such fabulous people!!!  

God knows, why is it so hard to keep remembering that?

Happy Summer.

Enjoy the moments.

In His Grip,

Pam

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

On "Vacation"

We are on vacation this week.  First time we have went on vacation when I brought my lap top, and we have wifi.  I guess that's the good with the bad in some ways.  There is something to be said for vacations unplugged.  It's raining this morning.  Is that a good reason to be online?

Strange to have our vacation without James.  In fact he called after they got in on Saturday, and I haven't heard from them since.  My mother heart is having some problems with this.  But, I am really trying to not be annoying & give them their space.

So, I really don't know how they are doing, & I don't know how his new job went yesterday.

Sigh.

Z is not doing well.  To put it mildly & be tactful and respectful of him, I will try to be as discreet as I can.

He left Sunday evening to go home to work at least two days, but he has texted that he might just work all week and not come back to the lake.  Not really surprised.

People are trying to connect with him.  He ignores them.

He doesn't understand why we can't be like "normal" families and drink alcohol and accept that this is the life he chooses.

Meanwhile, we watch him, as he had consumed his beverages in secret and came around our family.  It was one of the lowest days with him.

He is in need of many, many prayers.

I have no answers.  I don't know what is going to happen.  I feel like I am just waiting for the next big tragedy to occur and maybe that will be the trigger to his wake up call or maybe it won't.

All feels very familiar.

HATE THIS.

He turned 20 yesterday.


In His Grip,

Pam